Find your own Style

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'Oh, that really suits you!' How often have you heard those words from a friend or shop assistant? What does it mean? I'm guessing that most of us hear, 'Oh, it makes you look younger and/or slimmer!' We have become so accustomed to the assumption that being young and slim define beauty and style, we never dream of questioning it.

Not that there is anything wrong with being young and slim, it's just that if you're not, why should you try to be?

I propose that we redefine the phrase 'Oh, that really suits you!' to mean 'Oh, that really expresses who you are!' And dressing to express who you are is called your style.

Style is about who you are in the world. It is about understanding who you are and how you can be who you are no matter where you are or what you are doing.

I have worked with many women searching for somewhere to start when it comes to defining their style, and I believe that the place to start is language. Try this  think of two to four adjectives that describe what it is you would like people to think when they remember you, or how you would like to feel. Words like strong, sensuous, elegant, provocative, creative, flamboyant, gracious, exotic or feminine may come up. For me, it is sensuous and elegant. Be very clear that they express who you are, not who you would rather be. This is definitely not about trying to look like someone else! If you find this difficult, do it with a girlfriend our friends often see us more clearly than we see ourselves.

Now you have somewhere to start. Use these words to guide your choices. Ask empowering questions like, for example, 'Would this dress enhance my natural elegance? Will I feel sensuous in it?' rather than disempowering questions like 'Will this make my bottom look fat? Can I get away with wearing this?'

Take my word for it, if you head out to try and look young and slim, you will look like someone who isn't young and slim trying to look young and slim. If you focus on being sensuous and elegant, you will look sensuous and elegant, and you may even look younger and slimmer too!