Why Don't People Try To Say NO To Premarital Sex Any More? It Saves And Will Save The World..... Total results: 34 Pages: 1 | 2 [ 2] |
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 ID: 218182 Posts: 10 | Date: 2007-11-28 05:55 I have had a relationship for 6 years now and we have tried to keep it asexual
despite all odds. It has saved us both a whole lot of heartaches
................no pills...............
..........respect........................no risks of the grave complications of
abortion............. and it has built an unwavering trust between us to mention
but a few.
does anyone think alike or differently? Please share with me. |
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| Date: 2007-11-28 06:09 hahahahahahahahahahahaha......... |
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ID: 218182 Posts: 10 | Date: 2007-11-28 07:02 what a long laugh!
What actually is your opinion ? |
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| Date: 2007-11-28 07:48 I think all your pent up frustration has left you horny as hell, frustrated, and
curious as to how wet we're all getting it.
Get your end in get your friend in,
Romes. |
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 ID: 207451 Posts: 33 | Date: 2007-11-28 07:55 dont mind him! i think its great your trying to wait but six years! i wouldnt of
been able to do it! but i do admire your decision and anyway theres more to a
relationship then just sex and intercourse there are lots of other things to do! |
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| Date: 2007-11-28 10:25 Hahahhahaahhahahah, you already look like veeeery flustrated... |
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| Date: 2007-11-28 10:26 Romeo, hahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahhahah... |
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 ID: 182744 Posts: 1441 | Date: 2007-11-28 13:23 Say "No" anymore?
Actually, more people say "No" to premarital sex today than at any other time in
human history.
Remember where your history of the world comes from. Generally in grade school
history is very sanitized. Translate that to mean inaccurate and with tons of
stuff edited out and erased. There has been no fundamental human shift in how we
look at and approach sexuality from our beginnings.
What civilization brings to humans is the desire to separate ourselves from
animal behavior. Avoiding aggression, violence, selfishness, wanton sexuality,
gluttony, anti-social behavior...basically all of the cardinal sins...are our
attempt to justify intelligence as being something above and better than pure
animal instinct.
As societies grow, advance and mature, they segregate more and more instinctive
behavior from controlled, rational behavior with laws and social constraints, be
they written by our leaders or propagandized into us as social etiquette.
In the United States of America there are still states that set the age of
sexual consent at 14. Some states still have laws on the books prohibiting
sexual congress outside of marriage. A look through historical archives gives us
clues to reasons for these and other practices leading up to today's public
movement away from free sexuality.
Birth records will indicate that up through the early part of the 20th century
in the U.S. the average age that a female bore her first child was around age
12. Typically too, when a female was married, her husband was 20 or more years
older than she was. And as much as it stings the female population to admit
this, women worldwide were generally thought of by males as breeders and
housekeepers. A pubescent girl was a burden to her parents and her value was
mostly in trade.
Then, too, with no telephones, no transportation, no law within striking
distance and no cameras to record how transgressors looked, rape was incredibly
abundant.
As societies grew throughout history, civilizations tried to curb criminal
behavior and attempted to set guidelines on the sexual behavior of women. But
the reasons were not altruistic. Marriage came into being as a way of recording
heirs. When a man died, who had claim to his property? Chaos would ensue as many
would claim to be the children of the deceased. Marriage solved this by making
anyone not born of the marriage a bastard and hence with no standing to claim
property.
In the early Christian church there was no mandate to marry before sex. But if
you did marry, such arrangement was permanent. Early Christians were generally
not property owners. But as the religion matured and began to lay claim to land,
restrictions on premarital sex became necessary.
Back to the 20th century in first world countries. Women's suffrage. Child labor
laws. Industrialization of society. With the advent of technology, no longer was
a 12 year old capable of knowing enough to survive and earn a living. A 12 year
old with a child became a burden to herself, her family and society. By the
1950's teen sex was becoming taboo. Yet, at the same time, automobiles came
within the affordable range of the growing middle class. Teenagers started
driving and gained more freedom. Friday nights were born and sexual proclivity
among singles, which had died down just a little in the post world war years
blossomed again. Teen pregnancy, accepted throughout history, was now a
problem.
But there was radio. There was television. Government could now instantly tell
people "We have a problem". And people listened, realized that their futures
were tied to their behavior, and things sort of calmed down again for a
while.
And then someone realized that a common medication used to induce first
trimester abortions could prevent pregnancy altogether if taken regularly. The
Pill was born. Now, without risk of pregnancy, there was no reason to avoid
sexual contact. And a horny, repressed nation had at each other. The free sex
movement of the 1960's, 1970's and early 1980's has no equal in the recorded
history of the planet. The closest reference we have in human history is during
the reign of the Roman Caesars and a society that knew how to induce early
abortions and, without knowing what is was, were using penicillin to treat
wounds and various internal diseases. (The penicillin mold grows on cobwebs
which Roman's used to stop bleeding on wounded soldiers and found that those
soldiers did not usually get secondary infections...a factor that was prominent
in Rome's ability to conquer Europe and North Africa.)
Things came crashing down on the free sex movement with the discovery first of
Herpes and then the public announcement of a disease that the medical profession
had quietly observed killing people for hundreds of years but had now moved into
a larger, more vocal segment of the population: AIDS.
Throughout all this time, however, government propaganda campaigns regarding
teen sex and teen pregnancy were continuing. Teen birth rates continued a
decline that started in the 1930's and today, the United States can claim the
lowest teen pregnancy rate ever.
While teen sexual activity will never fully be eliminated...after all it is a
very natural thing...education and awareness of consequences, both physical and
mental, keep most teens today from making big mistakes.
Medically, we know that the end of puberty in a female is grossly exaggerated.
Based upon physical observations, we used to assume that puberty was a three
year process in females, ending with a dramatic slowdown in the growth spurt of
a young girl's breasts. Indeed, many females are capable of producing a child
before any development of their breasts occurs. However, we now know that having
the ability to produce a fertile egg does not mean that the female body is ready
to produce a healthy child. In fact, a female on average is not ready to produce
the most healthy child possible until after the age of 21.
So, it becomes wise for a female to wait for physical reasons. Less risk of
damage to her child and less risk of damage to herself that may not manifest for
30 or 40 years.
But setting aside the fact that we now know how to prevent pregnancy and
disease, we cannot overlook the mental detriment of free sex. Sex changes
everything. It changes the dynamic in a relationship and typically, the fun,
unrestrained comradeship so common early on in relationships becomes tainted by
the fear or expectation that whatever is done today might only be leading up to
sex. Most people have come to realize that once sex is introduced into a
relationship the expectation of sex at any meeting clouds the original innocence
of the relationship and the pressure to continue having sex is greater than the
original pressure to have sex. And then, when the initial excitement of having
sex begins to wear, people start questioning themselves and their partner's
continuing commitment to the relationship.
As difficult as abstinence is, it does have its beneficial qualities for women
in being able to create and maintain a beneficial life-long relationship. Men
are aggressive, conquering invaders by their nature. Women are the target and
receptacles of man's nature. Men push sexual conquest as the ultimate
achievement. And sex is the ultimate invasion of a woman's personal space. It
therefore behooves a female seeking a lastly relationship to determine whether a
man is merely seeking to possess her body or truly seeking to dedicate himself
fully to her for a lifetime. This is a very, very difficult determination to
make and a decision that becomes almost impossible when sex and hormones
complicate the issue.
Abstinence is one of the best tools that a woman has to determine the veracity
of a suitor's claims. There is a much higher likelihood that a male who can
refrain from pawing all over a female for several years of courtship is more
likely to respect a woman's wishes, needs and desires over his own in the long
term. Of course, this is not foolproof and yes, you miss all the fun, excitement
and variety of being "out there". But still, the mistakes of using feel-good
hormones to determine love can hold life-long consequences even if there is no
pregnancy.
Personally, I am not a person to abstain. I enjoy it too much. But also I have
realized that I am not seeking a life-long relationship. Or perhaps have not yet
again come across a woman I wish to give up my freedoms for. So precautionary
measures allow my lifestyle to exist. However, precautionary measures
cannot assist in the formulation of a long-term relationship.
To my mind, the best way to achieve that is to take your time, get to know your
partner and wait until marriage, that promise of lifelong commitment, before
having sex with that person.
We have sex less than anything else we do in life yet that one act holds so many
consequences to our life. Have faith that the universe will unfold as it should  |
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| Date: 2007-11-28 15:37 Right on Carib Goodies! Great post!
Henrietta, why don't you get married to this guy if it has been so long? |
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Mystique Eyed Phoenix IonU |
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 ID: 114505 Posts: 917 | Date: 2007-11-28 16:22 Buenos Nachos on the OPENER 'n' opinar, every1!--YES, if U have to eat---EAT
gOOd fOOd2........: :.............Then U'll C pc visions of a Mexican Sunrise,
without the
to-kill-ya, I mean tequila!
Karl's better than the grand tonada by Air Supply,
"Even The Nights Are Better".../'
More Substantial digestive property in the tally 'n' tackle cy-box
[_____()_____]
Fishin', AGAIN...
Ten-K 4 ALL D Gr8 skill, Oh mighty ICY HOT1
Whether, SHeLL-a-Bit OR Celibate 
OHMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
LOTUS 
MUAHhh
My Goddot!!!:.:.:.:.:.:.::..::...:::...
Heaven 2 teensy bitsy, KARL, sweetie!
U just gave the Richter Seis-O-Model Scale an 'erection' (as in upright) for
waves off the Sss-Ee-XxX chart...
[Peremptory slice--Make that an AWARD winning Alcott typed Flirty 'n'
Fictitious]
Romeo, Romeo, where for 'ART' THOU?
Why does Shakespeare keep popping his head up, Up, UP???
HmmM'T'Mmm
[Still Looming, lOOking, & Levitating the Pro-Spectacles]
A probable LED ZEP's Kashmir Tour de Force prior to The Stairway To
(pre-marital) Heaven??
Gosh, it must be lunch deprivation...attacking me, If ONLY I'd eaten
a...(Imagine--Be it food , mineral, or man--manual labor)--
Was that the simplified version of a QUICKIE, outside the tele-Networkin'
marriage manual?
Any1 care to join moi for the elusive U.I. of Toblerone Dk. Chocolate--So we can
artificially stimulate are E'Sensual perceptors, without any males feeling
Viag'R'Avation?
PS It's too-TOO BAD that Herpes wasn't only classified as an aviating Greek GERM
god...
Then we'd all be able to celebrate FREEDOM* [ with our very own family member,
GABRIEL's music --cc his port--besos ]
from irrational 'AIDS'!
A-N-D, No BUT_TS, about it!!!
______________________^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^____________________
BTW, Henrietta
Lookin' good 
I'm amazed that your partner could keep such a tight end on this relational
prospectus!
U R Temptation for Testy Testosterone
I s'pose a lil' oral KISS-In was the safety NET that helped a part of the
bondin' , better than two kissy faced grommies--Don't tell us, Part-Time PUCKER
POWER had nothing to do with the thermal threadline attachment!!!
STAY SWEET--AND gOOd 4U! |
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 ID: 161101 Posts: 86 | Date: 2007-11-29 07:45 She made a very excellent choice! Please keep it up.sherlly butshy |
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| Date: 2007-11-29 09:30 Maybe he's g*y? I would think he would want to marry you after a year or two??? |
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 ID: 114641 Posts: 156 | Date: 2007-11-29 17:41 Everybody like she / he likes to do
I married, when I was 33 years old. And before I had a lot of dates with a lot
of girls from all the world ... no bad situations ... respect is what we need
With my wife Isabella I'm together since 17 years - we had sex very early and we
are happy each day we stay together ... also now - after this long time together
It does not matter, when you start with sex, with how many partners you have sex
...
... but ... respect is what we need
This is my opinion ... other people think other ... it's OKTomorrow must be the longest day  because everything is scheduled on it  |
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Mystique Eyed Phoenix IonU |
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ID: 114505 Posts: 917 | Date: 2007-11-29 18:51 ArteMaXX
Nice to cyber C ya--
How's it going GUY?
Congrat's for 17 blissful yrs!--WHOO & Yahoooo!...KUDOS!
T'Was & T'Is a certified "Labor of LOVE"
Remembering that Opinions are like Onions...
Besides seemingly pungent, they have many layers to get to the heart of the
matter!
Sex at any age is a sticky situation to tackle (pardon the pun)...Hmmm.
Parents will probably disagree with age limitations, since it is their
child/children in which they are out to protect.
A natural defense mechanism of human preservation, at any given normalcy for
survival, if truly concerned with another's well-being, within the family
structure.
Openess between parent & child to negotiate in cooperation is essential to
create the ultimate goal/s for the balance of good relational values.
I believe some people naturally develop a sense of maturity, before others
do.
Either due to experience or genetic intelligence.
Who's to say...Except to set standards for safety, so it seems that's when
boundaries are enforced. But yet effectual precedence is a consideration for
ethics, if
safety is to be ensured...Not every1 can follow a generic standard...
Too many variables within international cultures & customs to juggle.
I agree that at the base, no matter what extensive belief systems one carries
within themselves--And allows to evolve with life & relational experiences...
Rationality of the left brained subconsciousness, should be on automatic pilot
for
R-E-S-P-E-C-T ...
Didn't Aretha Franklin sing it (YES), (like it should be)?
Hey, thanks 4 that input-- 4U & your wife--ENJOY, many more years of gr8* health & savory
SEX...
HUGZzz to ya --BOTH!
PEACE 2a piece of MIND>
Mystique |
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| Date: 2007-11-29 23:14 Mystique Eyed Phoenix IonU:
[Ephraim S.: ...]
Well now , if it
isn't Mr. Fancy Face, [AKA: BAD BOY ]
Back in the Saddle, AGAIN!!!--Left your toys in the attic with Aerosmith or the
Iron Maiden?
(Venture a highway guesstimate of none of the above)
Just Kiddin'--U know it, 2!!
WELCOME Back, E-TV.
Considering the generation GAP & ALL, outside the shopping MALLS:...
How Gay are we talking??...AS in:..:..: H2A. OR G.E.2R.?=---> "Happy to
Abstain" or "Gay Enough to Refrain"?
But could GUESS, outside the fashion frenzied haute line...:
I'm just thinking it would be the perfect cover, but maybe he doesn't have
enough for the dowery? Who knows, and I don't care to speculate. All I'm saying
is courtship is great if it leads to marriage, but if not it is a huge waste of
time for everyone. One should know intuitively after 1.5 yrs if the person
you're with is the ONE. Life was so much easier when your parents made these
decisions for you! LOL |
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ID: 182744 Posts: 1441 | Date: 2007-11-30 01:35 Ephraim S.:
[Mystique Eyed Phoenix IonU: ...]
I'm just thinking it would be the perfect cover, but maybe he doesn't have
enough for the dowery? Who knows, and I don't care to speculate. All I'm saying
is courtship is great if it leads to marriage, but if not it is a huge waste of
time for everyone. One should know intuitively after 1.5 yrs if the person
you're with is the ONE. Life was so much easier when your parents made these
decisions for you! LOL
I believe a year is enough time to know if two people are truly in love. But I
stopped believing that love should be the sole determiner of marriage a long
time ago. Friendship is a better indicator and goes beyond the capricious nature
of hormonal love. That type of 'love' makes us believe that we cannot live
without a certain person. Intellectually, we know that time and a lack of
pheromonal presence dulls the aching that leads us to believe our survivability
depends upon that presence. A cold, logical way of dismissing love? Perhaps. But
making a life decision is just that...an intellectual exercise rather than a
natural and instinctive one. You have the lucky few who stumble immediately upon
love and compatibility, but that is an exceptional minority.
In today's world there are many reasons not to marry the instant love is
confirmed. One of the biggest factors must be that most marriages fail because
of financial stress. For a couple to take their time and move towards
establishing themselves financially independent before marriage significantly
improves the chances of a marriage. Additionally, the better educated a couple,
the better their chances of coexisting together as both contribute as equally as
possible to the relationship.
Waiting does not reduce the chance of a happy marriage. I believe your argument
rests upon getting to the sex part as quickly as possible. Time is no deterrent
to love, friendship and compatibility. More often than not, haste is.
If the two of them are happy with their relationship and its current rate of
progress, I would say they are much better off than a lot of us who did not take
our time in considering marriage. And also remember, that marriage is not an
obligation to have sex. It is not permission for a male to treat a female as a
sex toy when sex does occur. Mutual respect, mutual companionship a mutual
enjoyment must always be a consideration of sex during a marriage lest one
partner or the other start feeling used.
I do wonder how you justify a suspicion of the male being gay because he does
not manipulate the sex issue. I was not aware that homosexuality was defined as
a desire to preserve the chastity of solemn relationship. Does a male not
wishing to coerce a female into sex define that male as gay? I more thought that
homosexuality was about having a strong sexual desire for the same sex.
But I believe what you have demonstrated in your statement is a microcosm of the
peer pressure that men endure when dealing with the opposite sex. To deal with
peer pressure, a lot of males engage in sexual behavior they might not have just
to prove to their buddies that they are not gay or, more accurately, fey.
For her boyfriend to be thought of as gay for respecting the sanctity of
chastity is a type of pressure that requires a very strong and loyal man to
ignore. It does not matter what anyone else thinks about how they chose to
maintain their relationship. The important thing is that the two of them have
come to a consensus that is beneficial in the long term to both of them. Have faith that the universe will unfold as it should |
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 ID: 170792 Posts: 681 | Date: 2007-11-30 02:07 Henrietta Okereke:
I have had a relationship for 6 years now and we have tried to keep it asexual
despite all odds. It has saved us both a whole lot of heartaches
................no pills...............
..........respect........................no risks of the grave complications of
abortion............. and it has built an unwavering trust between us to mention
but a few.
does anyone think alike or differently? Please share with me.
Good gal! That's what my sunday school teacher emphasized...later on wen i
joined catechism ..our teacher emphasized the same....the Priest never stopped
preaching the same...Chastity chastity my gals..<he would say>
Exodus 20: 14 and Deutronomy 5:18
Yeah..incase u didnt know...it's written more than one place in the Bible...yet
so many of us have not been able to hold on to that!
You should be proud of urself...am not so sure how many people would be able to
hold for that long.
But my question is...are you certain that your boyfriend is doing the same? 6
years is a long time. Although u still find men who can to 30yrs as virgins its
not a common occurence. just being honest 6yrs is a long time dating without sex
and it doesnt mean ur marriage will b a calm sail bcoz of the same. It's good
that u r following God's commandments tho.
I'd say u need to get married, otherwise if ur boyfriend found another person
who can give him wat he is missing there is a high probability that he wont keep
waiting! |
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ID: 114641 Posts: 156 | Date: 2007-11-30 04:13 Mystique Eyed Phoenix IonU:
Sex at any age is a sticky situation to tackle (pardon the pun)...Hmmm.
Parents will probably disagree with age limitations, since it is their
child/children in which they are out to protect.
YES ... I absolutely agree with you ... sorry, that I reduced all basic
conditions to this one word ... R-E-S-P-E-C-T ...
... and I love all songs of Aretha Franklin 
I think, we speak to much about DO or DON'T and we make ourself and other people
to slaves
We ALL have to listen more to our 'inner voice' and to our heart ... and ... we
have to be honest to the other people and to ourself
And YES ... WE enjoy our relationship now and in future
Nice greetings from Austria
GerhardTomorrow must be the longest day because everything is scheduled on it |
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| Date: 2007-11-30 07:05 Carib Goodies:
...I do wonder how you justify a suspicion of the male being gay because he does
not manipulate the sex issue....
I'm not saying he is manipulating the sex issue. I would think a simple solution
for not having sex before marriage but wanting to do it, which can be good for
some people, is to get married and they wouldn't have to worry anymore and they
could finally consummate the relationship. But instead, over 6 yrs and no
changes in the relationship (talk about stagnant)! There could be other
extenuating circumstances. But let's speculate, let's say you live in a very
machismo society where gay people are harassed and virtually excommunicated from
their families (hey, that could be anywhere!), and let's say you are conflicted
with your sexuality. A perfect way to hide from it would be to "date" an
extremely beautiful woman and agree not to have sex--it's a win-win. It is still
manipulation even though the man is not pressuring the woman to do it. But
anyway, hope that explains my logic. |
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