Would A Relationship With Someone That's Shy Stand A Better Chance? Total results: 15 Pages: 1 [ 1] |
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 ID: 255444 Posts: 861 | Date: 2008-09-21 19:50 I have to say that shyness is not a deterrent to cheating. Lots of men find
shyness attractive and are drawn to it. Lots of shy women are reluctant to make
the first move on account of their shyness or lack of confidence, however some
may react in an overly favorable manner at any show of affection. Good friend of
mine married a very shy and withdrawn girl. They got into financial issues so he
had to take a second job, which gave her time alone. She started taking classes
and meeting new people. My friend soon learned from a mutual acquaintance that
when men paid attention to her in class, it boosted her confidence and one thing
led to another.... they aren't together anymore.Why do we struggle to paddle upstream while the river is taking us where we need to go? |
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| Date: 2008-09-21 21:16 Any idea's how to get a shy girl to reply to your messages?
no particular sites, just in general as I've run out of ideas |
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ID: 255444 Posts: 861 | Date: 2008-09-21 21:41 Gary Young:
Any idea's how to get a shy girl to reply to your messages?
no particular sites, just in general as I've run out of ideas
The first thing I would ask is, "Is she shy or simply disinterested?" Not to
suggest she is not interested, but if that is the case, the approach would be
different. You would want to generate interest. If she is interested but
reluctant to act on that interest, one would want to encourage her to overcome
her hesitation. The end drive is the same - make her want to establish
contact.
Another thought comes to mind. She is aware, right? She IS getting your
messages?Why do we struggle to paddle upstream while the river is taking us where we need to go? |
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| Date: 2008-09-21 21:46 Robert Leonard:
[Gary Young: ...]
The first thing I would ask is, "Is she shy or simply disinterested?" Not to
suggest she is not interested, but if that is the case, the approach would be
different. You would want to generate interest. If she is interested but
reluctant to act on that interest, one would want to encourage her to overcome
her hesitation. The end drive is the same - make her want to establish
contact.
Another thought comes to mind. She is aware, right? She IS getting your
messages?
I don't know for sure |
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ID: 255444 Posts: 861 | Date: 2008-09-21 21:50 Gary Young:
[Robert Leonard: ...]
I don't know for sure
In that case I'd suggest that this should be there first thing to establish. Get
a third party to contact her. This will help establish if she is actually
getting messages. Knowing this, you will at least have made SOME progress.Why do we struggle to paddle upstream while the river is taking us where we need to go? |
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| Date: 2008-09-21 22:11 I did ask someone to give it a go, and she got a message from her
and she got it in plain english |
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 ID: 182744 Posts: 1920 | Date: 2008-09-21 22:31 Gary Young:
Me myself... I am not shy
However there are quite a few in the world who are though... the question
here...
if you were in a relationship with someone that's shy do you think there's a
better chance of things working out better?
Less chance of cheating?
Nope. No better chance.
'Shy' describes only one minor aspect of an individual's personality. Because
that aspect is perceived by others to be the dominant personality trait does not
mean that it is. Most often obvious outward manifestations of personality are
not what the person really is inside.
I find it very amazing that the main focus on relationships seems to be whether
or not the partner will cheat. Cheating is far from the main reason
relationships fall apart. Most relationship problems start over finances.
Financing is the last thing on a couple's mind when suffering from hormonal
overdose.
Gary Young:
Any idea's how to get a shy girl to reply to your messages?
no particular sites, just in general as I've run out of ideas
I believe that it is pretty darn arrogant to assume shyness is the cause of
non-response. That sort of reminds me of all the wannabe models who believe it
is the site's fault that agencies are not tripping over each other trying to
sign their stunningly unique, beautiful and appealing selves. Are you 'all of
that' such that any woman crazy enough to ignore your advances must be shy? That
explains it since you are such the irresistible catch! 
Arghh! In advertising, we learned the common psychological triggers that provoke
the desired responses in different psychological, sociological and demographical
types. We learn how to apply the techniques to individuals, groups and
societies.
Unfortunately, those techniques work and work damn well. It is amazing how
vulnerable the human psyche is and how open to suggestion our minds are.
Actually it is more scary than amazing. Tremendously scary.
Models, photographers, agencies, etc. are but a few of the minor tools used to
influence the disposition of the human mind. But that is business.
To apply such methods in a personal setting, such as to acquire women, is
immoral, unethical and, in the United States at least, highly illegal. Certain
influence techniques are so frighteningly successful that they are even illegal
to use for commercial use.
And you want me to suggest advice on how to attract a shy woman? Any shy woman
in the world or one particular shy woman? Are we talking infatuation approaching
the stalker level? I mean, it has to be infatuation, right? You cannot be in
love with someone you have never met and who has not even bothered to give you
the time of day, right? You cannot be obsessing over someone who refuses to talk
to you, right?
Oh, OK. Some suggested language for getting Shy Girl to reply to your
message:
"Dear Shy Girl:
I have written you many times before in an attempt to get to know you.
I think that you are an attractive person and you obviously have personality
traits that keep you on my mind all of the time.
I understand that meeting people over the internet can be a scary thing. You may
rest assured that I am not one of those scary people. I do not lie, cheat or
steal. I am kind, benevolent and never beat women without provocation.
All I ask from you is the courtesy of a reply so that I know that you are
getting my messages.
If after responding, you find that you are not interested in me, I will fully
understand. Hopefully, however, you will find it in your gracious heart to
explain to me why you do not consider me the man of your dreams. If you do this
small thing, I promise that I will change to meet all of your highest
expectations.
Sincerely,
A drooling admirer." Have faith that the universe will unfold as it should  |
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| Date: 2008-09-21 22:37 Carib Goodies:
[Gary Young: ...]
Nope. No better chance.
'Shy' describes only one minor aspect of an individual's personality. Because
that aspect is perceived by others to be the dominant personality trait does not
mean that it is. Most often obvious outward manifestations of personality are
not what the person really is inside.
I find it very amazing that the main focus on relationships seems to be whether
or not the partner will cheat. Cheating is far from the main reason
relationships fall apart. Most relationship problems start over finances.
Financing is the last thing on a couple's mind when suffering from hormonal
overdose.
[Gary Young: ...]
I believe that it is pretty darn arrogant to assume shyness is the cause of
non-response. That sort of reminds me of all the wannabe models who believe it
is the site's fault that agencies are not tripping over each other trying to
sign their stunningly unique, beautiful and appealing selves. Are you 'all of
that' such that any woman crazy enough to ignore your advances must be shy? That
explains it since you are such the irresistible catch!
Arghh! In advertising, we learned the common psychological triggers that provoke
the desired responses in different psychological, sociological and demographical
types. We learn how to apply the techniques to individuals, groups and
societies.
Unfortunately, those techniques work and work damn well. It is amazing how
vulnerable the human psyche is and how open to suggestion our minds are.
Actually it is more scary than amazing. Tremendously scary.
Models, photographers, agencies, etc. are but a few of the minor tools used to
influence the disposition of the human mind. But that is business.
To apply such methods in a personal setting, such as to acquire women, is
immoral, unethical and, in the United States at least, highly illegal. Certain
influence techniques are so frighteningly successful that they are even illegal
to use for commercial use.
And you want me to suggest advice on how to attract a shy woman? Any shy woman
in the world or one particular shy woman? Are we talking infatuation approaching
the stalker level? I mean, it has to be infatuation, right? You cannot be in
love with someone you have never met and who has not even bothered to give you
the time of day, right? You cannot be obsessing over someone who refuses to talk
to you, right?
Oh, OK. Some suggested language for getting Shy Girl to reply to your
message:
"Dear Shy Girl:
I have written you many times before in an attempt to get to know you.
I think that you are an attractive person and you obviously have personality
traits that keep you on my mind all of the time.
I understand that meeting people over the internet can be a scary thing. You may
rest assured that I am not one of those scary people. I do not lie, cheat or
steal. I am kind, benevolent and never beat women without provocation.
All I ask from you is the courtesy of a reply so that I know that you are
getting my messages.
If after responding, you find that you are not interested in me, I will fully
understand. Hopefully, however, you will find it in your gracious heart to
explain to me why you do not consider me the man of your dreams. If you do this
small thing, I promise that I will change to meet all of your highest
expectations.
Sincerely,
A drooling admirer."
Woah! nothing like that
If a woman approached me in that way I'd jump never mind the other way
round |
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 ID: 186257 Posts: 312 | Date: 2008-09-22 02:56 i'm not attracted to shy people so i don't know if they are somehow special and
act differently in relationships. i doubt there is some really significant
difference. maybe shy persons hesitate to say what they feel or something, but
after all many people hesitate to ask someone to the first date etc etc.
i think i should say why i'm not really into shy people: i really hate when
someone says 'you do know i had a crush on you 5 years ago?' how can i know such
things if person is too shy to even look at me? |
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 ID: 183878 Posts: 1599 | Date: 2008-09-22 07:44 I once knew a very shy young woman. She was married to a geeky guy right out of
high school. Since she had two small children and was a stay-at-home mom, I
hired her to watch my two kids (I was divorced and had the kids while my ex-wife
"found" herself).
The husband was a total dork, no other way to put it. The woman was attractive
and many of his single co-workers were admirers but she just wasn't outgoing.
But one day, when I was picking up my kids, she asked me if I would do a set of
portraits of her and her two. Even though we were associates and had access to
all types of equipment, her husband just wasn't interested in doing photography
of his family. Cars, maybe, but not the kids.
She had seen some of my work in the base paper and I showed her my portfolio,
which contained a couple of nudes. So, I asked her what type of portrait she
would like for herself and she turned red and pointed to one of my nudes. The
husband, an active duty soldier, had actually taken leave and gone to visit his
parents in Indiana without taking the wife and kids along (he was involved in
fixing up a show car with his dad).
So, on the next Sunday, while my kids were visiting their mom, I shot the
toddler and the baby dressed in their finery and the mom in her church clothes.
Then she put the little ones down for a nap and she began the second session.
She had second thoughts and went back and forth, but finally decided to go
through with it.
I won't bore you with the details, but it took a while to do it right--had to
get rid of the clothing marks, you know.
Right off the bat, you should understand that I was not after her, myself. She
was a good babysitter and I was reluctant to throw a monkey wrench in those
works. Plus I was seeing someone else at the time. I thought she was going to
give the pix to her husband as a present. Perhaps she did and that may have been
the beginning of the end for the two of them.
For one thing, the husband actually showed off the shots at the lab and one of
the single horndogs decided to ask her to take pictures for himself, only he
wasn't serrious about the pictures. That was the end of her shyness and,
eventually, the end of her babysitting. So my principles amounted to naught.
I don't know whether she was tired of her husband's neglect or if she just was
ready to branch out-- but she went out and got a day job, divorced the husband
and became quite the popular single woman for a while.
I may have felt guilty for my part in it, I took the ex-husband to visit with
friends one weekend at my college town and got him together with a perfect
match. At least, for a while. He was a dork, after all.If I haven't been there, I'm still planning on going!
If I haven't done it, I've still got time to try! |
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| Date: 2008-09-22 08:38 I've heard people in Newcastle & even in scotland saying that
quietest are worst
maybe they have a valid point |
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 ID: 258287 Posts: 282 | Date: 2008-09-22 15:03 Gary Young:
I've heard people in Newcastle & even in scotland saying that
quietest are worst
maybe they have a valid point
You're point is true! well to an extent
I've stayed away from relationships, I'm not shy! just think I need to live a
little!
The thought of being pregnant under 30no way! not me!!!!
so no boyfriend, no husband, and I'm free & lovin' it
Some shy girls might be o.k. but let them get the confidence to play the field &
they make the pro's look like angels! give them an inch & they'll grab all they
can get!
pro's as in hookers! |
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 ID: 155195 Posts: 733 | Date: 2008-09-23 02:57 Melissa Robertson:
[Gary Young: ...]
You're point is true! well to an extent
I've stayed away from relationships, I'm not shy! just think I need to live a
little!
The thought of being pregnant under 30no way! not me!!!!
so no boyfriend, no husband, and I'm free & lovin' it
Some shy girls might be o.k. but let them get the confidence to play the field &
they make the pro's look like angels! give them an inch & they'll grab all they
can get!
pro's as in hookers!
Its good you know waht you want.
Libby |
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